Render & Resist

“During the year 1957, I experienced, by the grace of God, a spiritual awakening which was to lead me to a richer, fuller, more productive life.” -John Coltrane

In 1957, crippled by heroin addiction, alcohol abuse and deep depression Miles Davis fired Coltrane from his Quintet. Coltrane was at his lowest point, a man consumed by the flesh.

He didn’t hear a fiery sermon.

He didn’t check himself into rehab.

He locked himself in a room in his mother’s Philadelphia home…and in that space, he would later say, “God met him.” There alone, no bible, no witness.

He experienced my favorite quote from a dear departed brother George Nolan, “God loves you right where you are, but He loves you too much to leave you there.”

He walked away with four things: grace, awakening, a vow to God, and a new life.

The Fire of Honest Worship

That moment with God in a room — alone, shaking, undone — would lead eight years later to one of the most profound recordings of a man baring his soul before the Lord. In December of 1964, Coltrane walked into Rudy Van Gelder’s studio with his quartet and, in a single session, poured out a four‑part prayer in sound. The album was titled A Love Supreme.

Part I – Acknowledgement

The opening of this work feels like two worlds. The rhythm section a contrast to the melody. A man struggling against the flesh as he acknowledges the agape love of God.

Jimmy Garrison’s four‑note bass motif is grounded, repetitive, almost like the pulse of a man still tied to the earth. It’s the heartbeat of someone who hasn’t yet escaped gravity.

Then Coltrane enters…and his sax doesn’t sit on the rhythm so much as it leans against it. He bends around the beat, floats above it, pushes through it. It’s not rebellion. It’s yearning.

It’s a man wrestling with grace.

You can hear the tension between:

what he was, what he’s becoming, the flesh that held him, the agape that found him

Part II – Resolution

The wrestling ends and acceptance takes place. Calvinists would call this the moment of irresistible grace, and if anything captures that idea more than Resolution, I haven’t heard it.

Everything in this movement smooths together — the rhythm section, the harmony, the phrasing — as if Coltrane has finally stopped resisting the gravity of grace. The searching lines of the first movement give way to something steadier, more grounded, almost peaceful in its determination.

How people walk away in this moment and remain in their unbelief astonishes me, and I imagine Coltrane as well. He is declaring here:

I know this love to be real and if it is I must live differently!

Part III – Pursuance

Drums roll like thunder for a minute and a half — relentless, overwhelming. The piano surges underneath, pushing, pressing, refusing to let the moment settle. And then Coltrane’s sax screams in against the rhythm, not working with it but tearing through it.

It’s the cry of a man who knows the truth, loves the truth, and still feels the pull of the old world clawing at his ankles. Grace has claimed him. Resolution has steadied him. But now comes the chase — the pursuit of God, the fight against the flesh, the refusal to return to the grave he was rescued from.

This is a declaration of Romans 7: “Oh wretched man that I am…”

The honest, painful, necessary pursuit of holiness after awakening.

Part IV – Psalm

Psalm hits me — a generally unemotional person — like a hammer. I have no idea how to explain how an instrumental jazz quartet can evoke such depth, such ache, such surrender. But that’s the mystery of this final movement: it bypasses the intellect and goes straight for the soul.

There are no lyrics. No sermon. No doctrine being recited.

And yet it feels like prayer.

Coltrane isn’t improvising here — he’s reciting. His sax follows the cadence of the poem printed in the liner notes, a wordless reading of his gratitude to God. Every breath feels intentional. Every phrase feels like a man kneeling.

It’s as if creation itself is speaking through him.

It reminds me of that line in Scripture: “If they keep silent, the very rocks will cry out.” That’s what this movement sounds like — creation crying out in worship through the breath of a man who has been rescued.

The storm of Pursuance has passed. The wrestling is over. The vow has been made.

And now, in Psalm, Coltrane lays everything down — horn, breath, body, gratitude — and offers it back to the God who met him in a small room in Philadelphia.

This is not performance. This is surrender.

The Poem

I will do all I can to be worthy of Thee O Lord.
It all has to do with it.
Thank you God.
Peace.
There is none other.
God is. It is so beautiful.
Thank you God. God is all.
Help us to resolve our fears and weaknesses.
Thank you God.
In You all things are possible.
We know. God made us so.
Keep your eye on God.
God is. He always was. He always will be.
No matter what…it is God.
He is gracious and merciful.
It is most important that I know Thee.
Words, sounds, speech, men, memory, thoughts,
fears and emotions – time – all related …
all made from one … all made in one.
Blessed be His name.
Thought waves – heat waves-all vibrations –
all paths lead to God. Thank you God.

His way … it is so lovely … it is gracious.
It is merciful – thank you God.
One thought can produce millions of vibrations
and they all go back to God … everything does.
Thank you God.
Have no fear … believe … thank you God.
The universe has many wonders. God is all. His way … it is so wonderful.
Thoughts – deeds – vibrations, etc.
They all go back to God and He cleanses all.
He is gracious and merciful…thank you God.
Glory to God … God is so alive.
God is.
God loves.
May I be acceptable in Thy sight.
We are all one in His grace.
The fact that we do exist is acknowledgement of Thee O Lord.
Thank you God.
God will wash away all our tears …
He always has …
He always will.
Seek Him everyday. In all ways seek God everyday.
Let us sing all songs to God
To whom all praise is due … praise God.
No road is an easy one, but they all
go back to God.
With all we share God.
It is all with God.
It is all with Thee.
Obey the Lord.
Blessed is He.
We are from one thing … the will of God … thank you God.
I have seen God – I have seen ungodly –
none can be greater – none can compare to God.
Thank you God.
He will remake us … He always has and He always will.
It is true – blessed be His name – thank you God.
God breathes through us so completely …
so gently we hardly feel it … yet,
it is our everything.
Thank you God.
ELATION-ELEGANCE-EXALTATION
All from God.
Thank you God. Amen.

Final Thoughts

Before you move on with your day, I want to invite you to do something simple and sacred: take a quiet moment and listen to A Love Supreme all the way through. No distractions. No multitasking. No noise competing for your attention.

Just you… and the God who meets us where we are.

Let the movements wash over you — the awakening, the resolution, the pursuit, the surrender. Let the honesty of this music remind you that God is not waiting for you to clean yourself up, polish your faith, or pretend you’re stronger than you are.

He meets us in the room where we finally run out of ourselves. He meets us in the wrestling. He meets us in the vow. He meets us in the storm. He meets us in the quiet.

And when He meets us, He overwhelms us with a Love we cannot explain, only receive.

So take the time. Sit still. Let this music become a prayer.

You might be surprised by the God who speaks in the silence.